Who hurt Shane Warne?

Gee Shane Warne really has had a lot to say this summer.

Yes, it’s not like he has ever been a silent figure and he is known to get riled up from time to time, I mean it has been just over 7 years since the words “F**k you Marlon!” rang out on national television. But this year he seems to be ripping in to everyone and anyone left right and centre.

First, he tag teamed Marnus Labuschagne’s ‘annoying’ batting habits with Andrew Symonds.

While that was laughed off as a joke and was even poked fun at by Marnus himself during a pitch side banter session, Warnie looked elsewhere.

Nathan Lyon and his bowling tactics was next on the chopping block. Yes, the Aussie’s loss on the last day of the Brisbane test was an incredibly demoralising way to finish the summer, but in Shane’s opinion, it was Lyon’s puzzling fielding placements to Cheteshwar Pujara that allowed the Indians to get the much-needed leg up.

“I think I know a bit about spin bowling” were the words I believe. While he may be the spin king, he sounded more like a disgruntled third grade bowler who just had his cordial mix shot down by the skipper.

But the tests are over right? Shouldn’t that mean he’s run out of rants?

In the case of the Melbourne Stars, unfortunately not.

After their defeat to the Sydney Sixers last night, the Stars fell to second last on the table, once again confirming their reputation as the league’s perennial choke artists. Granted, the Stars have been incredibly disappointing despite a star-studded list, and as a result, the entire squad was put on blast.

“Average” “Not good enough” “Something is wrong”

In the space of a few weeks, Warnie’s attacks have gone from ‘Just bat properly’ to ‘Just bowl properly’ to finally, ‘Just play cricket properly’.

The headlines shouldn’t be addressing Warnie’s rants, they should instead be getting to the bottom of this very important matter. Who in the world has hurt Shane Warne and what have they possibly done to get him this riled up? Maybe he is just having a severe retirement itch that legends get from time to time, or maybe he is just running low on Tinder matches. Either way, Warne is a man not to be messed with this summer, and anyone that stands in his way will end up just like this infant Stars fan.

I’m just worried about you Shane, that’s all. Please, for the love of god, just cheer up.

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