The Set Of Six – Mediocre NRL Players: Cronulla Sharks
Who remembers that god awful Reality TV Show ‘The Shire’ from the dark days of Channel 10 in 2012?
This was the TV program which gave us alluring characters, like pole dancer Nikee – what a pretentiously swaggalicious way to spell her name. Try saying pretentiously swaggalicious that 10 times fast. Try caring even more.
I bet this show hadn’t crossed your mind recently.
Although that’s what we do here at Inside Feed with The Set Of Six.
We give rise to blasts from the past, or anyone from the present who represents mediocrity, in the most fascinating of ways.
So what better way to indulge in the greatest Mediocre NRL Players of the past 10 years from controversy merchants the Cronulla Sharks, then by drawing comparisons with this stain on Australian Television?
UP UP CRONULLA Baby.
Beau Ryan (2013-2014) – 22 Games, 7 Tries
Beau Ryan’s legacy in the game of Rugby League will forever be his comedic role on The NRL Footy Show. However, what gets largely forgotten, is that Beau was actually a fairly decent footy player as well.
Spending the majority of his career at the Wests Tigers (2007-2012), the crafty winger had quick wheels and a sensational knack of scoring, especially with his trademark grubber and chase close to the line.
One might say – Beau Knows how to find a Try…… HA HA HA laughing face emoji’s all-round.
His most famous Cronulla Sharks contribution, will always be scoring the infamous 7th tackle try in a 2013 knockout final against NQ Cowboys. That gaff was true Rugby League comedy at its most innocent, thus Ryan finding himself as the man to score it was like a gift from the Rugby League Gods.
God Bless You Beau.
Did You Know: In late 2014, the year injury forced his playing retirement, he managed to release a rap single titled ‘Where You From?’ featuring Justice Crew.
Jonathan Wright (2013-2014) – 41 Games, 8 Tries
Now for another outside back from the post ASADA Supplements Scandal era at Cronulla, Jonathan Wright is a retired veteran of 5 clubs. So obviously, he was so very mediocre during his playing days.
He could have shown up on this list for any of his 5 clubs, but his 41 games for Cronulla is more than he managed in tenures with Parramatta, Canterbury, NZ Warriors and Manly.
Come on Jono, 8 tries in 41 games, and you were a winger no less. That is a real measly effort bro.
Although do spare a thought for the bloke. In the space of a decade, he had 5 clubs which is practically a third of the competition, pawn him off to the next sucker – I mean wished him well in his future endeavours.
However, he did play in a Grand Final for the Bulldogs in 2012, so that’s something he achieved that Wally Lewis did not.
Expect Jono Wright to appear on the next Immortal shortlist.
Ben Pomeroy (2006-2013) – 158 Games, 53 Tries
Ok, this guy was cool.
Doubling as an undercover WWE Superstar in training during his time in the Shire, Pomeroy developed a reputation as somewhat of a hitman. Big Bad Ben Pomeroy loved a shoulder charge back in the day. Rushing out of the line, striking fear into his opposite centres, Pomeroy was feared by many and loved by fans.
Ben Pomeroy played with the confidence and big dick energy, mirrored by his likely wrestling inspiration – WWE Legend Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart, by carrying himself as the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
These days, Big Show Ben Pomeroy is still digging graves and taking names, plying his trade with the Palau Broncos in the South of France.
Daniel Holdsworth (2014) – 8 Games, 1 Field Goal
If we did a list of the most random NRL returns, Daniel Holdsworth would be sure to feature close to the top.
Beginning his career at St George in 2004, before spending a healthy four years at the Bulldogs, Holdsworth was a run of the mill half in an era dominated by names such as Thurston, Lockyer and Marshall.
He lucked out of the NRL scene in 2009, or rather we lucked out of watching him play in, going on to have greater fortunes on the greener grass of the English Super League.
Dan the Man had a nice little tenure abroad, playing for the Exiles in 2012, yet somehow, he found himself at Cronulla during the ASADA aftermath in 2014.
If ever a player screamed “thought he was bald”, it was Daniel Holdsworth, and not even he could prevent the Sharks from finishing dead last in 2014.
Shocking, I know!
Billy Magoulias (2019-) – 5 Games, 1 Try
Why Billy Magoulias hasn’t played more NRL footy is a real mystery?
I mean, sexy Cronulla coach John Morris has made a reputation of bringing many of the players he tutored as Under-20s coach into first grade. Yet, Greek representative Magoulias has not reaped nearly the same rewards as many of his teammates.
He was not even one of eight players from the Newtown Jets 2019 Premiership winning team, Cronulla’s NSW Cup feeder side, which featured in the Sharks match against Brisbane earlier this season.
This is all the more strange, considering Magoulias set up the winning tries in the dying stages of BOTH the NSW Cup Grand Finals, and NRL State Championship match on NRL Grand Final day.
Like, I don’t get it. What’s Morris’s beef with Billy?
Maybe Billy rated him an 8.5/10 in the sexiness department, and John took offence.
That is the only logical reason.
David Fifita (2014-2016) – 19 Games
No, not that one.
In fact if you actually thought it was 2020 David Fifita, formerly of the Broncos and now of the Titans, then I worry you’ve become seriously braindead watching too many re-runs of ‘The Shire’.
Identical twin of Brother Andrew, David Fifita had the same endearing laugh, classic charisma, and fruitful hobby of abusing local junior rugby league referees as his representative bro.
Unfortunately, his brother’s shadow would prove to be too big to jump out of, as despite David aiming to create his own path, he never really got going. So, he moved to England and has had a semi-decent career in the ESL.
Although, today his Wikipedia page lists him as being still on loan to the Dewsbury Rams, where he has played 1 game since 2017. That’s concerning.
David Fifita was simply a poor man’s Andrew Fifita.
Did we miss anyone out?
Who would be in your Mediocre Sharks Set of Six?
Catch us on the flip flop side, as our next adventure takes us to the sunny Gold Coast Titans.