In the year 2000, Bahamian band Baha Men ushered the famous line “Who Let The Dogs Out” into mainstream culture. This Grammy Award winning single is played over the loudspeaker for every Bulldogs home game.
If you’re reading this, and will be one of the 8 Doggies fans heading out to ANZ Stadium this weekend to watch the Minor Premier Panthers give you a bath, then please report to our Instagram DMs to update us on the good vibes felt when jamming along to the lyrics.
Oh, and say g’day to BRAVEDOG for me. Cheers.
It’s hard to know where to begin with the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs, but I’ve been brave enough to write this list, and I thank you for having the strength to read it.
Andy Saunders – (2017) 1 Game
I must admit, including big bad Andy Saunders here makes me quite nervous. If you were in the Belmore crowd on the day of his Bulldogs debut in 2017, and sat as dangerously close to the bench as I did, then you’d understand how I feel.
All things considered, Saunders has had quite the career, albeit in Reserve Grade. He has played over 100 games in various reserve grade competitions, bouncing around different clubs for fun. Today, he finds himself at Manly’s second tier side Blacktown Workers.
He may go down as a one-game wonder in the NRL, but what a game to play in.
I mentioned it was at Belmore right? This was the game the Doggies charged home in a miraculous comeback against the horrendous Newcastle Knights, before fans rushed the field to worship their hero Josh Reynolds.
Scenes, absolute scenes.
Marcelo Montoya – (2017-2020) 54 Games 19 Tries
It is important that when reminiscing about Mediocre NRL Players of the past, we don’t forget about the crop of mediocre men still lacing up the boots today. That would just be an injustice. Besides, this bloke is about to become a former player anyways. Don’t mess with T-Baz and his culling crusade.
It’s a shame the Bulldogs are not offering Marcelo Montoya a new contract for 2021, because he has the coolest name in the NRL. With his name, I could really see him playing a role in the supporting cast of a low budget mid-2000s Jackie Chan western film. Gnarly.
Debuting against the Warriors in the first game at Forsyth Barr Stadium, Dunedin played for Premiership points, Montoya scored a crucial try in the 24-12 win. Unfortunately for Marcelo, his output has since steadily declined year on year.
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Did You Know: Montoya was the first player of Chilean and South American descent to play in the NRL?
Mitch Brown – (2013-2014) 48 Games 22 Tries
Mitch Brown played in the NRL for 11 years. No, seriously.
In between two stints at his junior club Cronulla, and a sharp detour to Concord to play for the mighty Wests Tigers, Brown had a largely unmemorable career in the blue and white.
Looking back into the archives to discuss Mitch Brown was a chore unlike for most mediocre players. I mean, he’s just so plain Jane.
Nevertheless, Brown was a part of the Bulldogs side during a successful 2014 campaign. He featured on the wing in their Grand Final loss, having a profound impact on the result making 60 running metres from 8 hit-ups.
His mediocrity was ironically the most memorable part of his Bulldogs career, because there is nothing funnier than copping a spray from James Graham in the middle of a semi-final. Refer to the big screen below.
Mitch is probably still cleaning out the spit from his eyes.
Matt Frawley – (2017-2018) 31 Games 6 Tries
It only occurred to me during some research, that Matt Frawley is making his club debut for Canberra this weekend, playing in the halves alongside fellow Mediocre NRL Player Sam Williams (more on him next time).
When he was a Doggie, Frawley wore his heart on his sleeve, and brandished a thick luscious beard. Not weird.
He was determined to repay the club who saved him from the abyss. That being a career selling retail clothing in the tourist capital of Australia – Canberra.
That’s right I said tourist capital, not National Capital.
Truth be told though, Frawley was in and out of the first grade side during his two years, just another cog in the machine that is the rudderless collection of useless 2010s Bulldogs halves.
Good luck on Saturday night champ!
Greg Eastwood – (2009, 2011-2018) 177 Games, 15 Tries
Thus far, this entry has been the most enjoyable to write. The memories are so fond.
One of the game’s most popular men during his time in the NRL, Greg Eastwood had two stints with the Canterbury club.
Eastwood played in two grand final losses for the Bulldogs (2012 and 2014), giving his all for the club he loved so dearly.
He’s just such a huggable lad.
Meanwhile, in true mediocre spirit Eastwood missed a game in 2011 due to a bizarre injury. Of course I’m referring to the time he injured his foot by stepping on his son’s toy car.
However the greatest memory of Greg Eastwood I have, has to be his brain snap against my Wests Tigers in crunch time of the Bulldogs Round 8 fixture. A grammatical sentence cannot do it justice, he was and likely still is a wild cat.
Michael Lichaa – (2015-2019) 98 Games 9 Tries
Sorry Doggies fans, but this one hurts on a number of levels.
Michael Lichaa was brought to Belmore from the Sharks as somewhat of a saviour, after a junior career littered with appearances for the Junior Kangaroos and Under 20's NSW Blues.
However, the real kicker is that he was recruited to the club in a swap deal for veteran captain Michael Ennis, the man who would end his career a Premiership winner at Cronulla.
Sure, he was a fantastic player coming through the grades, but once Des Hasler got a hold of him, Lichaa was no longer allowed to run from dummy-half. EVER. His footy career became a passing zone only.
The Lebanese representative struggled for form from day dot, and after pushing his luck in 2017, Des sacked him after presumably running the ball twice in one game.
Then...despite a formal farewell, incoming coach Dean Pay offered him a new deal. Talk about awkward.
So very awkward.
Did we miss anyone out?
Who would be in your Mediocre Bulldogs Set of Six?
Next up, it’s the Viking Clapping GREEN MACHINE. The Raiders.